nerdtasticsarcasm:

booksandcatslover:

amjjones:

At the risk of writing another long-arse post, repeating myself, and being called sanctimonious, let me say…

The fact that a significant portion of Tom’s fandom thinks that harassment (tweeting at him for ‘lying’ and not being where they want him to be), hate blogs, wishes of harm (to career or self), manipulation of facts, etc., is acceptable because they’re ‘upset’ or feel ‘betrayed’ is highly worrying to me.

The fact that they don’t see the harm in their actions is even more worrying.

Some of these girls and women are punishing him for ‘lying’ when he did no such thing. They’re blowing things out of proportion and twisting facts to make him into the bad guy and themselves into poor victims who were deceived. They’re imposing expectations and standards on him and then getting angry at him for not meeting them.

I already said as much in a reblog, but it bears repeating: how you act and treat others online may eventually have an impact on how you treats others in your ‘real’ life. If people constantly affirm that it’s okay to mistreat strangers online as punishment for their misconstrued relationship and reaction to them, all because they’re a fan of the person… then I do worry that such an attitude of entitlement and anger will bleed over into how they feel about – and possibly treat – people irl.

Maybe it won’t. Maybe the anger expressed on the Internet is entirely fuelled by the disconnect between person and screen, and these people never treat their real relationships and friends this way. But there’s a chance they will. And I don’t want to see anyone take that chance. There’s also the chance that directing so much anger online will eventually build up and cause serious personal harm. How many people have I heard about breaking down and crying over all this, because they’re so angry? A fair few.

And you know what? It’s all good and well telling me and others that ‘we’re allowed feelings and opinions’ but what some don’t understand is that these feelings and opinions are directly harming themselves and others. They’re not healthy. How on earth can you say that starting a hate blog, crying – literally crying and being distressed – over a ‘PR stunt’, spamming Tom with tweets about getting back to Australia, trying to start hashtags like #TomIsALiarParty – how can you say any of that is healthy?

It isn’t. It truly, truly is not healthy. Expressing your feelings and emotions in such an angry, aggressive and abusive manner is not healthy and should not be encouraged. If I am upset at someone in real life, I do not have the right to spam them with texts and voice messages calling them a liar – for two months. I do not have the right to whisper lies in people’s ears to drag them down. I do not have the right to cruelly devalue their achievements or enjoy their humiliation.

The same is true of the online sphere. Don’t kid yourself. The same is true of the online sphere. Think about that before you place your feelings and entitlement as a ‘fan’ over the dignity and autonomy of another person.

I thought the same things, but I could never express them so well. Thank you @amjjones

The entire thing is highly disturbing and extremely frightening. These disillusioned people’s separation from online behavior versus IRL is tremendously alarming. There is, in fact, no difference. Words and actions matter. Both online and everywhere else. Opinions and feelings are one thing. How those feelings are acted upon is the crux of the issue, online or IRL it doesn’t matter.

And an important reminder for anyone who thinks being a celebrity makes this type of behavior OK and almost expected and warranted. Since when does celebrity equal dehumanization?

Remember these are REAL people you are doing this to. Honest to goodness people, flesh and blood, who deserve to live their lives just like everyone else.