Tag: talk dirty to me

catwinchester:

angryschnauzer:

feelmyroarrrr:

wendy7777:

Tom Hiddleston @ vanity fair snapchat eating doughnuts

Oh damn!!!

@lokaneship @ancientfinnishgoddess @annedeadly @sweetsigyn @kathrynbjordahl @maevecurrywrites @beaglebitch @the-haven-of-fiction @lokiwholockfactory @insanely-smart

DOUGHNUT PORN!

“He bit into her soft flesh, his lips brushing against her hole and his stubble exciting her crumb as her frosting coated his lips and chin…”

My preferred donut porn – you eat them off the pole. 

poetictouch:

The Passionate Shepherd To His Love
by Christopher Marlowe (1564-1593)
Read by Tom Hiddleston

Come live with me and be my love,
And we will all the pleasures prove,
That valleys, groves, hills, and fields,
Woods, or steepy mountain yields.

And we will sit upon the rocks,
Seeing the shepherds feed their flocks,
By shallow rivers to whose falls
Melodious birds sing madrigals.

And I will make thee beds of roses
And a thousand fragrant posies,
A cap of flowers, and a kirtle
Embroidered all with leaves of myrtle;

A gown made of the finest wool
Which from our pretty lambs we pull;
Fair linèd slippers for the cold,
With buckles of the purest gold;

A belt of straw and ivy buds,
With coral clasps and amber studs:
And if these pleasures may thee move,
Come live with me, and be my love.

The shepherds’ swains shall dance and sing
For thy delight each May-morning:
If these delights thy mind may move,
Then live with me, and be my love.

Love your headcanons, thought I’d share with you. One where (reader) asks Tom to read to them, because god that voice. After he’s gone thru a few paragraphs, you start unbottoning his pants, he just raises his eyebrows at you. You tell him to keep reading, he obliges. You get on your knees and tease him and lick him and suck him, everytime he falters you say keep reading. Eventually he says “Oh fuck (name)” and cums in your mouth. Later you tease him, asking where Shakespeare wrote that.

emilyevanston:

Well thank you!   Now I am dead.

Good lord, are you people for real? How did Tumblr get to be so vulgar? And I thought the racist hate was bad enough.

catwinchester:

cflib:

catwinchester:

Um, have you not met me before? Because i do a fantastic line in vulgarity. 

Some of my highlights are

The Loki porn parody gifs

The porn star who looks like Tom Hiddleston from a certain angle

Then there’s my manips, crafted from my own two hands! 

And let’s not forget my rather, um, risque fanfictions!

Such as very not safe for work Grace Series or The Warling.

But sometimes I post pictures of cute kitties too. 

So in conclusion, 

@catwinchester-there’s a porn parody of Loki?!

Well, of the Thor movie, and Loki has one sex scene. 

I have the whole scene available, message me if you don’ know where to look. You’re not missing much but the curiosity factor is strong. 

I hate how my brain is functioning today.

lokiwholockfactory:

great

now imagine being a virgin

or at least having sex with him for the first time

and APPARENTLY ITS THAT THICK

and you both have to adjust upon penetration

and he goes “shush shush” while stroking your hair from your forehead when you struggle when he’s pushing it in

…

omg im sorry.

@smittentomkitten @ophelia-tagloff @laterovaries @the-haven-of-fiction @iamthebadwolf85 @madmediamaven @graymindlove @izhunny @angryschnauzer @angreav @peskipixi @antyc67 et al

FUCK! So not sorry; thanks for THAT scenario, especially after those pics from High Rise…

lokiwholockfactory:

ancientfinnishgoddess:

virtualgirlfriendsan:

hotmenandotherdistractions:

allonsyelize:

headrushxreeta:

quoting-shakespeare-to-ducks:

chynna-is-not-here:

beaglebitch:

i-wanna-be-toms-body-pillow:

insanely-smart:

beaglebitch:

theopheliapond:

beaglebitch:

hiddleshoneybunny:

beaglebitch:

hiddleshoneybunny:

This…

Grew up to be this…

 @beaglebitch @zhora-salome @tomforachange @insanely-smart @laterovaries @larouau12 @hiddlestonluvr

WHY ARE PEOPLE STILL TALKING ABOUT OAKLEY? 

I do not like that little shit. 

I do not like him. Not one bit.

I do not want him here or there. 

I do not want him anywhere.

Not under the table at the bar?

Not even in the backseat of the car?

Not even a quickie by the pool?

This arrogant scrumptious little fool?

Not at the bar! Not in the car!

Not in the pool! Not with that fool!

Not in the dark! Not at the park!

Not on my blog! Thanks for nothing, Joanna Hogg!

I do not want him here or there!

I do not want him anywhere!

Do you want him in a club?
Do you want to give that bare chest a rub?
Will you take raging and mad?
Would you take him crying and sad?

Not in the club! No bare chested rub!

Not when he’s mad! Not when he’s sad!

Not at the bar! Not in the car!

Not in the pool! Not with that fool!

Not in the dark! Not at the park!

Not on my blog! Thanks for nothing, Joanna Hogg!

I do not want him here or there!

I do not want him anywhere!

Would you give him half a chance?

Would you have him when you dance?

Would you take him with a drink?

Would he get you with a wink?

You don’t want him?

So you say,

Try it and you may, I say!

Fine!

If you will let me be,

I will try him.

You wil see.

…

SAY! 

I like this Hiddles man.

I do! I like him, Sam-I-am.

I would do that Oakley fool. I would do him in the pool.

I would have that Hazeldine. I always liked them long and lean.

I kinda like that Martinsson. I like the way he wears that gun.

I would take Sir Thomas Sharpe. I would like him in the dark.

So I will do himat the bar. And in the car.

And in the pool. That lanky fool.

And in the dark. And at the park.

I want to have him here and there!

I want to have him anywhere!

I’m only reblogging because of “Green Eggs and Ham: Hiddles edition.”

Standing O

And I’m dead. This is amazeballs.

This is why I love this fandom.

It’s baaaaaaaaack!!!!

It’s back on my dash! Forever reblog!

Seuss!BB strikes again jfc

Thought of this when I read this post: 

Enjoy Tom’s smutty voice. 

You’re welcome. 😉